Okay guys...

Dearest still-world-champions-but-had-best-get-your-asses-in-gear Phillies,

Citizen's Bank Park is your stadium. It is your home field. Have you ever heard the term 'home field advantage'? If not, it means that generally speaking, when a sports team is playing at home, in front of an audience which mostly wants them to win as they are locals, and presumably you've played many more games in this stadium than anywhere else, you have a slight advantage. You may want to make a note of this.

In other words, please stop losing every home game. It's beginning to get a bit embarrassing, and I thought we were over those days.