Here's your Hanukkah pork!

Hey, Army: you say it's just a "holiday semi-formal." Attendance is optional but those who go get released early the day of and come in to work late the next day, and those who don't go will work regular hours doing shitty details in the motor pool. 

Knowing this I chose not to attend, largely because I don't celebrate Christmas and generally try to avoid giving the appearance that I do. Yes, I go to my cousin's Christmas eve party, and exchange gifts with my family, but in my mind that's a rare chance to see everyone together (ten cousins plus a sister, spread across four different states, none in the same country as me), and the fact that sometimes I can take off from school or work during Hanukkah but other years I cannot. 

So here's the thing: I'd buy your story that it's not a Christmas party were it not for a few minor little points: 

1. December 8 is awfully early to celebrate New Year's.

2. The graphic on the official invitation card thing shows a Christmas tree and Christmas ornament.

3. I'm quite certain that were I to ask the higher-ups who organized this when Hanukkah starts this year - to say nothing of asking for a brief explanation of what the holiday celebrates, or how it is observed - I would be met with blank stares*. 

4. Each company was apparently to put together a little skit, based on a Christmas movie. (Number of Christmas movies I have ever actually sat down and watched from start to finish: one.)

5. If you offer a choice of main dishes at a catered event and one of the choices is pork** then, uh, don't be surprised if the idea that you're somehow including Jews in your Christmas celebration isn't really taken very seriously. 

I have no problem with having a Christmas party***. At my last two jobs there were Christmas parties. i chose not to attend. Fine. But if you want to have a Christmas part - have a fucking Christmas party. If you want to have a "Happy everyone's going on leave soon, it's dark and gloomy and German weather sucks, let's go dress up all pretty and eat a nice meal," great - but skip the Christmas theme and the pork. 

*Note: this is fine. I'm willing to bet a significant amount of money that neither the commander nor sergeant major of the squadron are Jewish, and I don't expect anyone to know about other people's holidays. HOWEVER, if you don't know, don't claim to be celebrating it. 

**I didn't realize until fairly recently that while I don't, nor have I ever come remotely close to truly keeping kosher, there are certain things that somehow absorbed into me. For instance, as far as I know I have never in my life eaten any pork, and even when I was being the worst vegetarian in the world during basic training, the idea of eating pig is kind of horrid.

***It gets a bit..squidgy, ethically-speaking, when we're talking about the military, but I'll let that go for now.