Stop the tiny ones first!

Apparently there's a controversy brewing in Chicago, where some restaurants and coffee shops are beginning to put up signs and/or notes on menus asking parents to do the unthinkable: control your spawn.

The parents in the article are all moaning that their children aren't adults, and you can't expect them to act like they are, and people go to these establishments to relax.

Um...yes. They do. And that's rather the point. You may find your diaper-clad child's incessant screeching soothing. You may find your little experiment in genetic recombination terribly amusing when they throw themselves on the floor creating a tripping hazard, when they wipe their snotty little paws all over the counters and display cases, and when they run amock in a public place amidst people who are adults.

The rest of us, however, find it obnoxious and disgusting. Small children are rude. The generally lack knowledge of both basic human hygiene and how to act in a civilized manner. They scream, a lot. They stomp around, they put their fingers everywhere, and they're not adults. The vast majority of coffee shops, bakeries, restaurants, cafes, bistros and other such establishments are generally intended for adults, not the brat set.

First of all, if I were in a coffee shop, just trying to enjoy myself, and someone had some little virus-incubator smearing their hands all over everything, I would perhaps literally applaud them being asked to leave. Second of all, I completey think that airlines need to get on board (hah) with this. Have x number of flights with kids allowed: people travelling with children aren't likely on business and therefore, are more flexible than someone who has to make that 3:00 meeting. Then the rest of us would be able to travel without the added joy of screaming infants and toddlers going flight-attendant bowling in the aisle whilst Mommy and Pops watch on, amused at their prodigy-in-the-making.

And no, I don't ever want to have kids, for the above reasons (they're gross), plus I'd also like to have a real career, plus I'm not keen on the whole parasitic element of pregnancy.