In which I resent being American

Because this guy represents me to the rest of the world. I don't care about the bit where he was talking to Blair and didn't realize the mic was on: It's not news that they're tight and it would be hypocritical of me to condemn him for using a naughty word in what he thought was a private conversation. Granted, the American president might want to be a bit more careful about checking microphones, but that's not my issue.

My issue is, firstly, this:

PRESIDENT BUSH: Chancellor, thank you very much. Thanks for the invitation. This is a beautiful part of the world, and Laura and I are so honored to come to your constituency and meet some of the friendly people who live here. I remember you coming to the Oval Office, and you said, if you are coming to Germany, this is the part of Germany I want you to see. And now I can see why you suggested it. I'm looking forward to the feast you're going to have tonight. I understand I may have the honor of slicing the pig.
...
And I guess that's about all -- we discussed a lot of things, in other words. And thank you for having me. I'm looking forward to that pig tonight. (Laughter.)
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Q On both of these. Does it concern you that the Beirut airport has been bombed? And do you see a risk of triggering a wider war?

And on Iran, they've, so far, refused to respond. Is it now past the deadline, or do they still have more time to respond?

PRESIDENT BUSH: I thought you were going to ask me about the pig.

Q I'm curious about that, too. (Laughter.)

PRESIDENT BUSH: The pig? I'll tell you tomorrow after I eat it.

Okay, we get it. You're a good ol' boy from Texas and you're all about the barbecued pig. I have no problem with that: personally I don't share his enthusiasm, but I really don't care what the President eats (disclaimer: I would admittedly him to eat more pretzels.) So, fine, mention it. Then make another light joke of it - that's fairly standard speechwriting, to go back to an opening joke.

But you were just asked about a war! The proper reaction to that question was not to joke about the stupid pig, though in doing so you did give a fairly compelling answer (no, you're not at all concerned about it in the least, you just want to get to your pig.)

Then things got so much better when Bush decided to offer Chancellor Merkel a massage. And by 'offer' I mean 'walk up behind her and start rubbing her shoulders until she (with great restraint, IMO) pushes you away'. I don't care how cozy we're getting with Russia or how close the two are personally. That would be completely unacceptable in a business meeting, barring maybe some very casual offices in places that are very culturally different from Germany and Washington DC. The majority of the world reacts with: "What the hell?", parts of America ignore it, and the rest of America just cringes and tries to disappear in a massive fit of national humiliation.

Some have compared it to the first Bush's little vomiting incident while in Japan. True, both were embarrassing. The difference is that sometimes you just have to vomit, and if your body decides it's happening, there's really nothing you can do about it. I'm not a doctor, but I've never once heard of involuntary massage-giving.