Faulkner

Maybe it's because I spent all of last week playing with grammar and trying to make everything right in my paper, but I have the overwhelming urge to bring Mr. William Faulkner back to life, bitch-slap him, tie him to a chair, and make him edit "Was" from Go Down, Moses until it's nicely structured, has commas used in appropriate places, and doesn't sound like an 8-year-old with Downs Syndrome.