From "Oh, come ON" to "...huh?"

Ann Coulter's latest is...interesting. This is a column that you should really read for yourself, if for no reason other than it's sort of like how I imagine a bad trip on cheap acid must feel: things start out okay if not a bit off-putting but then quickly devolve into horror. I think it's about the evils of prostitution and sex, or Clinton, or why girls shouldn't ever drink. Possibly it's just about Jesus. Choice passages:

And if you are a girl in Aruba or New York City, among the best ways to avoid being the victim of a horrible crime is to not get drunk in public or go off in a car with men you just met. While we're on the subject of things every 5-year-old should know, I also recommend against dousing yourself in gasoline and striking a match.

Everyone makes mistakes, especially young people, but the outpouring of support for the victims and their families is obscuring what ought to be a flashing neon warning for potential future victims.

Okay, young women drinking alone may not be the best idea. It is a risk and there's no denying that. Most of us do know that, but guess what? People take risks. I drive down one of the most dangerous roads in America every single day going to work: I do that because what I get from it outweighs, in my mind, the risks. Contrary to popular belief, women are not idiots who need constant reminders of "OMG teh fear!1", and if we do take risks like that, it's certainly not out of ignorance.

It shouldn't be necessary to point out that girls shouldn't be bar-hopping alone or taking their clothes off in front of strangers, and that young men shouldn't be hiring strippers. But we live in a world of Bill Clinton, Paris Hilton, Howard Stern, Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman," Democratic fund-raisers at the Playboy Mansion and tax deductions for entertaining clients at strip clubs.

Wait, what? Why the hell shouldn't girls be bar-hopping alone? I don't think it's particularly smart, but then again, I don't think getting insanely drunk in your own home or at a party at a friends house is smart either. It's one thing to say "that's probably not such a good idea and it's risky", but it's entirely different to say "you shouldn't do that."

But we're all rotten sinners, incapable of redemption on our own. The liberal answer to sin is to say: I can never pay this back, so my argument will be I didn't do anything wrong.

The religion of peace's answer is: I've just beheaded an innocent man -- I'm off to meet Allah!

I don't know what the Jewish answer is, but I'm sure it's something other than, "therefore, what I did is no longer bad behavior" -- or the Talmud could be a lot shorter.

The Christian answer is: I can never pay this back, but luckily that Christ fellow has already paid my debt.

What? Again: what? On the one hand, that's an interesting way to get in her requisite dose of bashing non-Christians. And it's some impressive research there on the Jewish and Muslim views of sin. Especially because everyone knows that A) all Muslims are terrorists and extremists and B) the "sin" of a girl getting drunk is just as bad as murder.

But, lucky for us, Christians are all good, kind people, and Jesus has their back.