Amazing free offer!

Hey everyone! Do you live in the New York area? Do you love to travel? Man, does JetBlue have a fantastic offer!

New York-based JetBlue is looking for 1,000 of its frequent flyers to show up at JFK on August 23 to check bags given to them by the airline, go through security and wait at the assigned gate for their imaginary "flight".

In return, the airline is promising unspecified "giveaways", free parking and lunch.

Hahahahahahaha. Ahahahaha. Good luck with that, guys. Seriously, what they're saying is, "we'll give you lunch if you go through all the miserable parts of travel without the actual, you know, travel."

I wonder if they'll give you a food voucher when your non-existent flight is "delayed"? Will they load people onto planes and have them sit on the tarmac for three hours - to simulate sitting on the tarmac for three hours - and then another five with the engines running to simulate actually flying somewhere? Will there be screaming babies? Will they have CNN playing and aurally competing with boarding announcements from the nearest sixty-five gates and reminders not to leave your fake baggage unattended? Will they change the gate your fake flight is not leaving from three times and not tell you? Gosh, I'll be back in Jersey on the 23rd, maybe I should go!

Seriously: I would not under any circumstance do that for a "free giveaway" and a free lunch. If they actually paid for me to go somewhere like, say, London, sure. But "please come go through all the hellishness of getting to a flight without actually going anywhere and we'll give you a free sandwich" is just not a compelling offer.