Really?

Since my job-hunting process can now be summed up as "Is there some possibility I meet the requirements for this job regardless of whether or not I want it? Yes? Apply!", I've encountered a couple varieties of applications.

1. Most common for retail and customer service positions: those obnoxious online "personality" screens where they ask you fifteen different ways if you strongly agree, agree, disagree, or strongly disagree that it's acceptable to steal from your employer.

1a. A subset of these includes drug questions, where they specifically ask you if you think it's okay to use marijuana on the job. And cocaine. And heroin. And PCP. And so on.

2. Real jobs, where they want you to write a letter saying why they should hire you, and send them your resume. These are good.

3. Federal government jobs, where they would like to you to jump through six hoops (two of them flaming), submit a copy of your birth certificate in triplicate, swear an oath of loyalty to USAJobs.gov's resume builder, put your left foot in, put your left foot out, put your left foot in, submit your resume and sixteen pieces of paper via the postal service, shake your left foot all about, and then contact an undercover operative with a copy of your third-grade report card. Then you wait six months to hear anything. These are somewhat annoying.

3a. Jobs with the TSA (shut up, I'm in dire need of a paycheck), where they want you to answer 35 individual yes-or-no questions as to whether or not you have been convicted of a given offense. Included on said list are offenses such as murder, aircraft piracy, kidnapping, treason (really), sedition (no, really), and my favorite: "Lighting violation involving transporting controlled substances. Essentially, this means that if you have been convicted of transporting illegal drugs in a plane without activating the navigation or anti-collision lights you are disqualified."

I'm baffled by the specificity in that last one - "interference with navigation" is already covered, as are any number of felony convictions (involving drugs? burglary? cats? conspiracy? etc), so it's not like, "Well, you smuggled drugs by air into the country, but you had the proper lighting, so that's cool".