Dear gas-guzzling morons:

Putting a bumper sticker on your car saying "Slow down, save gas, reduce oil profits" will do precisely nothing to reduce oil profits (or, for that matter, to reduce the degree to which oil companies rape the planet).

You know what will help to reduce oil profits?

STOP DRIVING YOUR RIDICULOUS FULL-CAB, EXTENDED-BED PICKUP TRUCK. ALSO YOU JUST RAN A RED LIGHT AND NEARLY HIT ME SO MAYBE DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE EITHER.

Seriously - you want to reduce your carbon footprint/stick it to the man/etc? Buy a bicycle and/or a bus pass! You can't - I repeat, *can't* - claim to be making any sort of meaningful effort to reduce your oil consumption if you drive. It's not a priority in your life? Fine. I personally think you're at best a short-sighted dick if so, but fine, it's your choice. If that's the case, stop with the stupid bumper stickers and t-shirts and slogans. Shut up or step up.