The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus

Brief, just-saw-it late night review: possibly a bit too ambitious, plot-wise. A bit muddled in the story. A bit sad, both story-wise and in the conspicuous absence in certain scenes of Heath Ledger. Makes up for most weaknesses in being visually breathtaking.

Worth paying to see it on the big screen. Probably worth a second viewing on DVD.

Wrong answer

From the local police notes column:

Ismael Cardenas, 25, address unavailable, was arrested Tuesday on a charge of aggravated DWI. Police encountered Cardenas after finding his vehicle parked on N.M. 14. When police asked Cardenas how much alcohol he had consumed, he replied "not enough," according to the police report. Cardenas refused to submit to field sobriety and breath-alcohol tests.

Ignoring that he was allegedly driving drunk, can you find where this fine citizen may have gone wrong?

Haiti

There are times that I'm incredibly glad that I don't naturally have any sort of spirituality or faith in a sentient Higher Power.

This is one of those times.

If I did have belief in some sort of Higher Power, I would just be wondering what the hell. Seriously - Haiti? One of the world's poorest and certainly the poorest in the western hemisphere? Haiti, which even without a nation-shattering earthquake has pretty much no industry to speak of? Which has an incredibly unstable government, and absolutely no real infrastructure in any meaningful sense? This is the country that deserves to get run over by some tectonic activity?

I'm just going to go ahead and say 'screw you', Nature.

Choices, choices

So either I claim "more Superfund sites than any other state, still has a quaint organized crime problem, gave the world Jersey Shore*, most famous resident is a singer whose songs are about how awful the place is New Jersey" as my home, or "funeral homes ship heads in to the families, first place to ever get nuked, most famous export is stolen/misplaced state secrets New Mexico".

Neither, apparently is going to go for equality anytime soon. Neither of them explicitly prohibit it, per se, they just don't allow it (which some people say is a meaningful difference, somehow). Despite today's disappointment, NJ still does allow civil unions, which I guess is good, though "separate but equal" ideas are kind of dangerous.

So really it comes down to nuclear weapons vs stereotypical New Jerseyans, cowboys (and indians) vs guidos (who are pretty much all from Long Island anyway). Springsteen and Bon Jovi vs...uh, Georgia O'Keefe, but that comparison just doesn't work. I'll call it a draw, for now, and continue looking for a new state to try.

*MTV execs who are originally from New Jersey, because there must be at least a handful of you: [i]you're not helping[/i].

New Mexico

NM woman dies. Family has her body shipped back to NM, along with her personal effects. The brain is included amongst the personal effects.

Land of Enchantment indeed.

Mr. Beck

Dear Glenn Beck,

I have no idea if your bit about the Coke commercial that showed up on The Daily Show was truly what they made it seem. Regardless, please shut up.

Warmest regards,

The rest of the world.

THE NEW PRODUCT COME INTO THE MARKET

Instructions for Environment-Protective Torch for 21st century

Features:

1. Only shake it forward and backward while in use, So as to make it generating to light up.

2. Its switch system is based on advanced magnetic induction technologies. So it's long in service life and reliable in performance.

Advantages:

1. A torch is used for emergency lighting purpose. However, the traditional battery-supplied torch may cause you a big trouble because the batteries will become ineffective and produce

pollution if the torch is left idle for a long time. The chargeable torch also has the problem of power leakage; or it will help you remember to charge only at the time you need. This innovative torch is the breakthrough in solution to waste and inconvenience.

2. Being self-supplying, it will serve you long and well.

(taken from the box of an electromagnetically-powered flashlight).

(shockingly not made in the USA)

(the box has a German recycling logo on it as well.)