Choices, choices

So either I claim "more Superfund sites than any other state, still has a quaint organized crime problem, gave the world Jersey Shore*, most famous resident is a singer whose songs are about how awful the place is New Jersey" as my home, or "funeral homes ship heads in to the families, first place to ever get nuked, most famous export is stolen/misplaced state secrets New Mexico".

Neither, apparently is going to go for equality anytime soon. Neither of them explicitly prohibit it, per se, they just don't allow it (which some people say is a meaningful difference, somehow). Despite today's disappointment, NJ still does allow civil unions, which I guess is good, though "separate but equal" ideas are kind of dangerous.

So really it comes down to nuclear weapons vs stereotypical New Jerseyans, cowboys (and indians) vs guidos (who are pretty much all from Long Island anyway). Springsteen and Bon Jovi vs...uh, Georgia O'Keefe, but that comparison just doesn't work. I'll call it a draw, for now, and continue looking for a new state to try.

*MTV execs who are originally from New Jersey, because there must be at least a handful of you: [i]you're not helping[/i].

White (black?) collar crime, NJ style

Oh boy:

Two New Jersey assemblymen, three mayors, and rabbis hailing from Brooklyn to the Shore were among dozens of people arrested yesterday as part of a federal investigation into international money laundering and homegrown political corruption.

Yeah. Man is this rich. Forty-four arrests in total.

The investigation began with the FBI's looking into an alleged money-laundering operation led by a number of rabbis that reached from the Shore town of Deal to Brooklyn, N.Y., Switzerland, and Israel.

A Brooklyn man, Levy Izhak Rosenbaum, allegedly tried to entice people to give up a kidney for $10,000 so he could sell the organs for $160,000 each, according to acting U.S. Attorney Ralph Marra.

I don't actually have the slightest clue what these two paragraphs have to do with each other, but...a kidney? Really? That's fantastic. I can't express how much I hope it turns out to be true that there were rabbis - preferably orthodox* - that were trying to start some insane international organ-selling ring based in Hoboken.

NYC sees plane, freaks out

It took me forever to get through to the NYTimes website, because today EVERYONE IS INCREDIBLY STUPID.

The Department of Defense decided - I guess because they're being threatened with actually being required to stick to a remotely reasonable budget - decides they need some neat new photographs of their people doing their thing. They do so by taking a 747 and a fighter jet (or two?) out gallivanting above Manhattan. And by 'gallivanting above' I mean '150 feet above the ground'.

Okay, questionable use of government resources but not to stupid. But, um.

Local authorities were told not to disclose information about this morning's flyover, the New York City Police Department said in a statement.

"The flight of a VC-25 aircraft (the military version of the 747) and F-16 fighters this morning was authorized by the FAA for the vicinity of the Statue of Liberty with directives to local authorities not to disclose information about it but to direct any inquiries to the FAA Air Traffic Security Coordinator," police said.

...Brilliant idea! Way to prevent panic, because there's no conceivable way that a low-flying plane in New York City could possibly bring up some unpleasant memories of some other low-flying planes.

And so naturally, the population of the metro NY area decided that instead of watching and determining that the plane was not flying into buildings - intentionally or not - and going about their business, they evacuated buildings and, as far as I can gather, freaked the hell out.

Now, I'm not saying that a bit of freaking out was not justified. Low-flying planes in the region have a history of, at best, landing in the middle of a river, and at worst killing a very large number of people. Particularly if I'd been in Manhattan on September 11, 2001, and then I saw a similar plane flying similarly low in the same place, I'd be kind of startled.

I'd say that a more appropriate reaction would have been to call the police, preferably the non-emergency number, and ask what's up with that plane - if you see fighter jets next to it there's a chance someone knows what's going on - but on the other hand, the police apparently were instructed not to say anything, because...well, I'm sure that at some point there was some vaguely rational-seeming reason in someone's mind, but damned if I can find it.

Seriously, this is one of the stupidest damn things I've seen in a long while.

14 year old abuses herself

A 14 year old in my fair home state has been charged with both possession and distribution of child pornography.

What that means is she took and posted explicit photographs of herself and put them on her own MySpace page for her boyfriend to see. If she is convicted, under Megan's Law, she'll be labeled as a sex offender.

For posting naked pictures she took of herself.

Honestly, I think the most interesting thing that might come out of this is if she could be tried as an adult for it, because if she's an adult, then are her own nudie shots really child porn?

What?

Someone likes JC Penney, I guess.

Congratulations?

Uh, good job Camden? Or good job New Orleans, you're number one? Or...something?

What fifty years will do to grass

That in the center there is the brand-new Cherry Hill Mall, circa 1961 or so.  Pan left about an inch and a half at that scale and you could see my house, which was there long before the mall.  Many of the houses surrounding it are not, nor is the strip of businesses along Haddonfield Rd (running vertically [north/south]).  The building at the bottom was the Cherry Hill Inn.  Now there's a 24-screen movie theater there and a TGI Fridays.  Just to the east, which looks mostly empty, is now a shopping center with a Target and Kohls.  North of the mall is a series of strip malls (seeing a trend?), including a big supermarket.  Northeast of the mall - more strip malls.  

For comparison, here's how it is now:

View Larger MapI'm pretty sure that there's more open space in the 1961 picture than there now is in all of Cherry Hill township.  

Newark: Not *totally* worthless

Reading this made my blood run cold:

Philippe Quint is giving a private 30-minute performance on Tuesday in the cab waiting area at Newark Liberty International Airport.

He left his violin, a 1723 Kiesewetter Stradivarius, in a taxi on the way back from the airport last month.

Gah!  What?!  He left a Stradivarius in a cab?  Good god.  I A) am not a professional musician and B) have a decent-but-sure-as-hell-not-a-Stradivarius violin, and I can't stand to take my eyes off it when I travel.  If I know I'm going to be flying with it I will try to get a seat towards the back of the plane, so I'm sure I'll be able to put it in an overhead compartment I can see when we land.  Once while walking through an airport, the shoulder strap on my case spontaneously broke - the clip on one end just stopped clipping, and I nearly dropped it, which caused me to freak out.  

Kudos to Mr. Kahlil for returning the instrument.  I'm willing to bet that he didn't know what exactly it was that he was carrying in has cab, but even still, the honesty is refreshing.  

How in the hell do you get so distracted that you leave your four million dollar Stradivarius in a cab?  Or anywhere?

Deeply satisfying

Take a cold, lousy and rainy night in suburban New Jersey.

Mix with soup and sandwich from Panera.

Enjoy the much-improved night.

Gasp! No, seriously, this is shocking.

Mark the date on your calenders, folks, because today's something truly special:

I feel an actual - slight, very slight, but real - pride about New Jersey.  It's old news that I missed the first time around, but I can't let it pass without comment. 

Apparently in Rome, lighting up the Colosseum has become something of an anti-death penalty statement.  They did it in protest when Saddam Hussein was executed.  And, more recently, they lit it up in celebration when New Jersey banned the death penalty.  

So there it is.  Some of the international community honored something New Jersey did that promotes human rights.  

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I need to go lie down until this feeling of goodwill towards the state of New Jersey goes away.  It's just too weird for me to deal with.

Good news for New Jersey!

Of 32 major US airports, Salt Lake City apparently is best with around an 85% on-time departure rate.  

Of the airports surrounding my fine home state of New Jersey, the highest-ranking airport within a reasonable distance is Baltimore, with about 77% on-time.  JFK, LaGuardia, Philadelphia, and Newark come in at 76, 74, 72, and 72, respectively.  

So pretty much unless you want to go all the way down to Baltimore to catch a flight, you're screwed if you want to get out of New Jersey.  They charge you money to drive out of the state, and there's no reliable air transportation.  

Hometown pride!

"You have a special, insulated room meant for special-needs students to use to calm down! How dare you!"

Ah, Cherry Hill.