Gimme a D, R, U, G, S!

According to the NYTimes, the latest attempt for pharmaceutical companies to pimp their drugs is to use cheerleaders.

*gets out checklist of Things I Get Annoyed At In Modern America*
Blantently using women's sex appeal to sell unnessecary products? Check.
Rampant consumerism? Check.
Pimping of drugs, most of which are probably not really necessary? Check.
Potential favoritism of skinny blonde white girls over all others? Check.

Soon, I bet anything we'll have the Laker Girls or whoever pimping Viagra on TV, direct to the consumer. Then, Adderall will hire some professional sl-uh, cheerleaders to pimp their product to prepubescent six-year-olds.

Have I ever mentioned that I despise so much about pharmaceutical companies' tactics?

Aaaah....

There are very, very few things that can make me feel as good as I do right now, because it's snowing, and I just went for a nice, quiet walk through the woods in the snow. Very Robert Frost, very lovely. Now I'm nice and cozy, in dry clothes, sipping at a late-night snack of some soup.

Life is not perfect, but I will say that it's good right now.

The agony of travel

I'm looking at paying $277 for airfare home for winter break, round-trip. Minimum. If I want to take the train, I can (rather inexplicably, I feel) pay that same amount each way. Or I can save about seventy bucks, and spend two and a half days on a Greyhound bus.

I think that the airline executives, if they insist on charging us this much*, ought to give all the passengers cheesecake. Really, really good cheesecake. Twenty calories of cheesecake per dollar spent on airfare. Terribly unhealthy, but - seriously, I've flown cross-country enough times to know by now that nothing can really make it enjoyable. Cheesecake would help, at least.

*Before anyone jumps on me: I know that the prices aren't exact controlled by the airline execs: oil prices are high, blah blah blah. But seriously: last year I paid half of what I'll pay this year to get home. I'm fairly certain that Mr. CEO of AlwaysLate, NeverSmooth Airline is still raking in just as much of his six (or more?) figure salary as he was last year. To which I say: Everything about the air travel industry in America sucks. I despise air travel and the industry as a whole, and would like to reserve the right to say that absolutely anyone employed by any airline is a poo-head.

That was mature of me, now, wasn't it?

A lament

Germany has just sworn in their first female chancellor. Liberia just elected their first female president.

America, on the other hand, as a bastion of liberty and democracy and equality and all that good stuff, has 14 female senators (out of a hundred) and 67 female representatives (out of 435). We've never had a female president, and a measly 27 female governors - ever. (link to a .PDF).

I just sort of wonder, out of curiosity, if we're ever going to catch up to Liberia in that arena? And also, is it not tragically depressing that Liberia is doing better in an area of political equality than we are?

Apologies

First of all: sorry for nearly a week without anything at all. I decided at the last minute to, again, jump into the madcap world of NaNoWriMo - for those too lazy to click, it's a bunch of crazy people trying to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days, from Nov. 1 to Nov. 30. I started on the 14th, so I'm way behind, but it gives me the motivation to work on a concept I've had bouncing around my head for a while now. Right now I'm at 23.5K, and I'm hoping to make 40K by the end of the month. So, from now until the 30th, I can't promise anything like a daily dose of outrage: I'm far to busy with setting up a nefarious political scheme involving overachieving actor/singers, bitter welders, confused students, and physicians working in the field of cryogenics.

To tide you over for now: Camden is, once again, considered the most dangerous city in the country. Yeah Jersey! The counterargument does have some merit: that it's not fair to compare Camden (pop. ~79,000) to much larger cities, such as NYC or Detroit. On the flip side, if you simply look at number of homicides per X number of people, then...well, Camden doesn't look so great.

Interestingly, Camden is not far at all from Moorestown, which was recently voted the best place in the nation to live. New Jersey is one confused state, I'll tell you.

An American what now?

This otherwise-blah Australian story caught my eye during my daily scanning of headlines. I've been trying to keep a grasp on what's going on in France, though it does completely boggle my mind.

The article intrigues me not because of Chirac's statements or anything. What got me was this line:

Flanked by the French and EU flags, Mr Chirac gave a US-style presidential speech amid widespread consternation at his relative silence during the worst case of civil unrest in a generation.

I have no idea what that means. A "US-style presidential speech"? Is there really a disctinctive American way of a leader addressing their nation? Do other world leaders not make speeches? I'm really fascinated by this.

Reasons to Hate America, part 3,208

Golly! Actually think before going to war? Why would you ever do that?

My country is run by absolute morons and the vast majority of the citizens are willfully ignorant, backwards-thinking, bigotted hicks.

Any non Americans want to adopt me? Canadians? Brits, Australians, Mexicans, Swedes? Anyone?

Good Night, and Good Luck

Just saw this movie today, and my first reaction is: Well done, George Clooney. It's an excellent movie, in my opinion.

My secondary reaction is not one of particular pride. Good Night and Good Luck is, of course, about CBS anchor Edward Murrow and his campaign against McCarthyism. Of course, it irritated me on some level, because we were fighting against fascism while bordering on it at home. It's not a particular point of pride for any American (I'm certain that there are exceptions, but I think the majority of people today agree that McCarthyism = not great). That was expected, though: I don't expect to be filled with pride as an American from more or less anything during that time.

But what I found really unsettling about it was that, if you picked up the basic plot of that era, changed the names and the specifics a bit, it's today. Senator McCarthy has multiplied and moved up in power (Bush, any number of senators and representatives) and communism has been replaced by the still-undefined 'terrorism' or 'extremism'. It's even less public now, but there's still a witch-hunt going on.

I'm trying to think of who our Ed Murrow is, though, and coming up short. We've got more bad guys than they had, and it seems we have no good guys.

Another Reuters gem.

Okay, it's not a hilarious typo mistakenly identifying meat products as female undergarments (see a few posts ago), but I must wonder what the editor who wrote this headline was thinking: Bush to counter Democrats.

Well, yes. Bush is a Republican. Isn't that sort of the natural order of things?

Next up: Politicians continue to squabble. Details at 11!

Stop the tiny ones first!

Apparently there's a controversy brewing in Chicago, where some restaurants and coffee shops are beginning to put up signs and/or notes on menus asking parents to do the unthinkable: control your spawn.

The parents in the article are all moaning that their children aren't adults, and you can't expect them to act like they are, and people go to these establishments to relax.

Um...yes. They do. And that's rather the point. You may find your diaper-clad child's incessant screeching soothing. You may find your little experiment in genetic recombination terribly amusing when they throw themselves on the floor creating a tripping hazard, when they wipe their snotty little paws all over the counters and display cases, and when they run amock in a public place amidst people who are adults.

The rest of us, however, find it obnoxious and disgusting. Small children are rude. The generally lack knowledge of both basic human hygiene and how to act in a civilized manner. They scream, a lot. They stomp around, they put their fingers everywhere, and they're not adults. The vast majority of coffee shops, bakeries, restaurants, cafes, bistros and other such establishments are generally intended for adults, not the brat set.

First of all, if I were in a coffee shop, just trying to enjoy myself, and someone had some little virus-incubator smearing their hands all over everything, I would perhaps literally applaud them being asked to leave. Second of all, I completey think that airlines need to get on board (hah) with this. Have x number of flights with kids allowed: people travelling with children aren't likely on business and therefore, are more flexible than someone who has to make that 3:00 meeting. Then the rest of us would be able to travel without the added joy of screaming infants and toddlers going flight-attendant bowling in the aisle whilst Mommy and Pops watch on, amused at their prodigy-in-the-making.

And no, I don't ever want to have kids, for the above reasons (they're gross), plus I'd also like to have a real career, plus I'm not keen on the whole parasitic element of pregnancy.

Screaming in horror

What is wrong with Kansas?

Okay: Fine. Be crazy, scary, bible-thumping, flag-waving, psychotic, far-right, overly-religious fundamentalists who see no problem with using government-funded schools to force your ignorant and bigoted religious beliefs upon small children. But: Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster you may NOT rewrite the definition of science!!!!

I love the way this is nestled halfway through the article:

In addition, the board rewrote the definition of science, so that it is no longer limited to the search for natural explanations of phenomena.

They did what? They rewrote the definition of science?!

I can't even process this. My brain shuts down every time. But not before pointing out that we are the only "civilized" nation in which utter shit like this happens.

*cue ironic recording of "Proud to be an American"*

Why proofreading is important

A) Because if you don't proofread, your seminar essay won't be very logical to people who aren't you.

B) Because if you don't proofread, you might publish a story pulled directly from a wire service, without noticing that it's mistakenly announcing the recall of beef panties, rather than patties.

That is by far the best news typo I have seen in a long time.

Have a merry two months! Then go back to your normal misery.

Aaaand it begins.

I ignored - just completely ignored - the Christmas decorations that sprouted up before Halloween. I think my brain flat-out refused to process such an absurdity.

But now, it's begun. Ebay now has their Christmas template up on their front page. I've heard ads on the radio implying that the season of gross commercialism is upon us. Slowly the Christmas decorations are springing up.

A few points I'd like to make, before I go insane:
1. Christmas occurs in December, yes. And it is a major holiday in this country, yes. However, it occurs at the very end of December. The 25th, not the 5th. That means that there's about a month from Thanksgiving until Christmas. Now, I personally feel that even a month is way too long to "prepare" for the holiday - if I had my way, since I'm not religious, it would be a day like any other. But: fine, this is a Christian nation, ergo, big Christmases. But dear sweet fate, why do you need two months to remind you it's coming? Does it take you two months to figure out what Abercrombie shirt to get your darling spoilt spawn?

2. If you'll notice, Christmas is in fact a Christian, religious holiday. The spirit of the season - or whatever trite phrase you'd like to use - is supposed to be something like "Hey! Jesus!" not "Hey, presents!"

3. For the love of everything in the world, ever, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE turn OFF the stupid Christmas muzak. No one wants to hear Christmas music. Especially not Justin Timberlake singing for you to have a Holly Jolly Christmas or what have you.

Bah. I'm off to inflate my Seasonal Cave of Poor Cheer and Miserly Grumpiness. Wake me on the 26th of December.

I quit. Then I'll do it again!

It could be that I'm just a terminal idiot, but I'm having the hardest time understanding what's going on with David Blunkett (which, by the way, is an excellent name) in England. He's just handed Blair his resignation - okay, fine. There was a scandal, he felt he had a conflict of interests, he quits. Hardly confusing.

Only it's apparently the second time that he's resigned, and I get the impression he's now resigned twice from the same position. I'm thinking that what happened was that last December, there was some incident that caused him to resign for a first time. Then either his resignation was't accepted by Blair, or he quit and then got re-hired. Thus far, there seems to be a distinct lack of "we'll explain this in small words and speak rather slowly so all the stupid Americans can follow" articles. Anyway, from what I understand of it: he resigned, then got put back in a similar position, where he promptly screwed up again and now is resigning again.

I think that someone in the British government may be a little fuzzy on the concept of "I've screwed up so badly I need to quit," quite honestly.