Finally!

Hell yes!

Now, who do I make the sacrifice to so that they don't choke in the playoffs?

Holy crap

It's not terribly funny, because people being seriously injured isn't funny, but...damn. You've got some serious problems if you manage to fall out of car and run yourself over...going through a McDonalds drive-through.

To make an cheerfully apocalyptic sky:

Add equal parts thunderstorm and not-quite-sunset. The result will be a sky that really wants to be both day and night, rainbow and lightning.

Pre-seminar thoughts on Milton

Paradise Lost. It's a pretty poem, aesthetically speaking. But what are we supposed to get from it?

Is it supposed to be a history? In that case it's kind of ridiculous for any number of reasons, not least being that the only extant history of that time period is the Bible, and I don't think Milton was particularly trying to one-up that. I could be mistaken, but I always see religion as rather opposed to needing to 'prove' the stories: you're supposed to just take them as is. So I can't see it as a history. Plus, if it were, I imagine that there may be a problem with the whole issue of anthropomorphizing god.

If it's not a history, what else is it? Is there some moral we're supposed to get from it? It ends with "The world was all before them, /They hand in hand with wandering steps and slow,/ Through Eden took their solitary way." Are we supposed to be inspired to follow their lead and go and explore the world? Unlikely - I'll probably have more to say on this after seminar, but I think there definitely are undertones of 'be happy with what you have in front of you' in the poem. Is the fact that they were hand in hand but still solitary as they left Eden significant? Is Milton trying to say something about unity and togetherness even in the face of adversity? The husband-wife bond? That all seems somehow shallow for the content of the poem: here's this epic about God and Satan and the beginning of mankind, take from it this lesson about loving your spouse?

I just don't know what we're supposed to make of this. The only thing I'm certain of in this poem is that God as depicted by Milton* is kind of a jerk. "Here's paradise, it's yours. But I'm going to free Satan and let him sneak in to tempt you. Also here's this Tree of Knowledge, and doesn't that fruit look tasty? But don't eat it 'cuz you'll die, and the fact that you don't know what death is will not prevent me from setting up this trap for you."

*I grant that it's not specific to Milton. Richard Dawkins said it best in The God Delusion:

The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, meagalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.

And later in the same book:

...a single, fiercely unpleasant God, morbidly obsessed with sexual restrictions, with the smell of charred flesh, with his own superiority over rival gods and with the exclusiveness of his chosen desert tribe.

I know people tend to take offense at quotes like these, but they're undeniably true: in the Old Testament world, God is a supreme jerk.

Awesomeness abounds

From a math handout:

What happens if we put a fractional exponent into the formula for the binomial expansion? Or a negative exponent? Needless to say, there is no justification for doing this. It would be like trying to run your automobile on guacamole, or worse, drinking gasoline in the hopes it will make you run faster. The machines were designed for certain fuels and not others. The other formula for binomial expansion was designed and built by a means of successive multiplication by (a + b), a process that yields only whole number exponents.

The peculiar thing about putting fraction (and even negative) exponents into the binomial expansion formula, however, is that it seems to work.

I swear math was not in any way interesting or cool back in high school.

Well then.

OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) -- The coach of Oklahoma City's minor-league hockey team helped prevent a possible stampede of Belgian horses at the Oklahoma State Fair by biting one of the animals on its ear.

Okay.

*sigh*

So someplace deep in America's Heartland(tm), there's a big to-do brewing over a not-yet-opened Planned Parenthood clinic. As best I can gather, there was a lot of land zoned for medical use, thus PP didn't need to get the city council's approval. Now the legality of their building permit is being called into question, and the clinic remains closed.

Now, if it's truly a valid issue of someone screwing with the paperwork, that's all well and good. I still think the clinic should be allowed to open. I kind of doubt that, say, a plastic surgery clinic (read: something catering exclusively to rich folk) would have such a problem.

But there are some questions being raised as to whether or not that's the issue, or if it's a case of "run the eeeevil abortionists out of town". I'm inclined to think - especially considering that it's in what I'm sure is a bustling, civilized metropolis of Aurora, IL - that there's a good bit of that going on.

And that pisses me off.

"I told my children we were going to come out and pray for babies," Oswego resident Melissa Spartz said before the meeting as her 3-year-old and 5-year-old sat in their stroller.

Planned Parenthood/Chicago Area officials want to open a full-service health center. Abortion services would account for about 10 percent of the care provided there.

You know what the 90% of what they do is? It's stuff like this: Cancer screenings. Education sessions. Birth control. Prenatal health care. Oooh, very controversial, right? Clearly, this organization is going to morally bankrupt the lovely town of Aurora.

Planned Parenthood clinics provide health care to those who likely couldn't afford it otherwise. It's my personal opinion that sometimes that's going to include abortions, and if you don't like that and you're anyone but the involved patient and doctor you can shut up or go straight to hell. But even if you're vehemently anti-choice, what the hell is your problem with what's essentially a low-cost health clinic? Would you prefer pregnant women not see doctors? Would you prefer teenagers to just have unprotected sex for lack of condoms?

Argh.

No! Bad Florida!

This is bad. It is unacceptable.

The only solution, obviously, is to saw Florida off.

Team America's Corporate Sponsors

It's kind of awesome that the Department of Defense increasingly doesn't even bother to have our military commit war atrocities. Instead we spend more money for private companies to do that - but at least the private companies can be brought up on criminal charges.

Hey, maybe if this trend continues, then our actual military can just be done away with entirely! Why pay for both parties, right? (Which is probably the primary reason it'll never happen - 'well, we could rip off tax payers with just the military or just private contractors, or we could do both!')

A few new enemies are born

If we're so morally right in our kidnap and detain strategy, what do we have to lose by providing our detainees with the right of habeas corpus?

Also, please note the text of the 14th amendment:

Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

Note the strategic, certainly intentional use of person rather than citizen.

Oh do shut up

Q: You're an American presidential hopeful on a trip to London. What are some things you should perhaps avoid doing?
A: Idiotically criticizing the UK's domestic policy with made-up statistics.

Seriously, I can't find any numbers backing what Giuliani said about prostate cancer having a 50% mortality rate in the UK. Nor for that matter can I find any reason why he'd take it upon himself to comment like that.

Also: "I'm a rich dude in America, I can afford the best medical coverage there is! But you in the UK, who have a state-provided system of basic care may not get such fantastic care! Clearly if I were a rich dude in the UK I wouldn't have the option of purchasing secondary, private insurance and buying better care! It's not as if the only difference is that poor people in the UK get health coverage regardless of how poor they are, while poor people in America don't."

Oh dear

The Canadian dollar is now just about equal with the US dollar. Interesting.

The Pound is of course still easily twice the dollar, which depresses me.

Another reason to love London

The London Transport Museum's free online archive of their historical posters, artwork and photos, dating back to the start of public transport in London.

Some are merely interesting, like this one: (reasons to love modern society: free bus schedules)

Then we get some gems like this:

My God, I'm in love with a 1930's poster artist.

Monkeys & Moral Judgement

Today in lab we dropped a small stuffed monkey off the roof, in the name of science.

An excerpt from the lab manual:

Your temptation to compare your results with the book value as an evaluation of your measurement, without separate accuracy estimates, is a universal temptation toward intellectual corruption*. If you must do it, at least be aware of your folly in so doing! Think also what it implies for science as a liberal art.

*This statement, a relic of past editions of this manual, is criticized as being too moralistic. The problem remains, among all of us.

Sometimes this place is equal parts mind-blowingly awesome and "what?"

Britain's Military Greats

Imagine a tragic accident: a soldier is on a skydiving training exercise. Something goes wrong, guy dies. The authorities come out with this:

"Obviously this is a result of coming down from the jump and being unable to impact the ground softly, but . . . we're not about to say what exactly caused that," said Webb, adding foul play is not suspected.

Well...yes, I imagine that most skydiving accidents would be the result of, uh, coming down. From the jump. And hitting the ground hard.

I kind of assume it would be gravity that caused it, but I concede we haven't quite gotten there in lab this year, so I could be wrong.

Either hypocrisy or something else

It's now going around the Interwebs that Condi Rice shares a house with another woman (a "liberal filmmaker"). A little bit odd, I'm sure Rice can afford her own place, but whatever.

They also share a credit line. For, uh, groceries, I guess.

Also, an openly-gay professor is the third co-owner of the house.

Hm. What's that phrase about "do as I say, not as I do?"

I have no true interest in Rice's personal life. As a general rule, I don't give a crap about any politicians family/sexual orientation/financial situation/religion/etc. But if you're such a high-ranking official in an administration that is so vehemently anti-gay, then...I don't know, perhaps it might be appropriate to provide the public with a bit of information.

Friday indulgence

Just finished, in a marathon, dinner-skipping session, rereading House of Leaves.

But damn is that one of the creepiest books I've ever read.

Not all teenagers suck

New kid at a high school gets harassed by a couple older students for wearing a pink shirt ("huh huh fag," I'm sure).

So when another student heard about it, he and a buddy went out, bought dozens of pink shirts, and distributed them to students before school. "Our intention was to stand up for this kid so he doesn’t get picked on."

That's just nice; the world could use a few more people like these guys.

Philosophers are silly people...

http://www.losanjealous.com/nfc/perm.php?c=154&q=272

re: Iowa, same-sex marriage

If John and Jill want to marry each other, or Jack and Susie want to join in "blessed union", then no one's going to think that they have a moral obligation to petition the state to keep them from getting married. Mostly because it doesn't really effect anyone but John and Jill, or Jack and Susie.

But if John wants to marry Jack, or Jill wants to marry Susie, then suddenly everyone's screaming about how the peoples' will must be honored so they can't get married.

I don't get it.

Talkin' 'bout my generation

Take a look at this article about "boomerang kids" - college grads who then move back in with their parents.

It's probably not news to anyone who knows me that I think that's just stupid, but then again I'm of the idea that it's far better to be completely broke but independent rather than have a bit more saved up but relying on someone else to get there.

But, okay, I'm stupid and stubborn. Not news. Scroll down to the end of that article:

TAKE TEACHABLE MOMENTS. College grads may have aced their physics and linguistics exams, but most still need help with basic paycheck economics. Have meetings to discuss paycheck deductions like Social Security taxes. Help them decide how much to contribute to their 401(k) plan (as much as possible, especially if they aren't paying rent), and where to invest it. If you don't feel competent to be doling out all the advice, spring for one or two sessions with a financial planner who charges hourly fees.

Why do so many people seem to assume that people graduate college never having received a paycheck - implying that someone has made it to, what, 21 years of age without having a job? Even a job at Wendy's over summer break? Lifeguarding? Hell, babysitters get paid and have to pay taxes, right? I mean, I suppose there are people who can do that (ie, go through college without themselves working), but...I'd imagine that they're of a financial background where money's not really an issue.

I grant that the 401(k) thing is valid. I also grant that I'm pretty much a financial idiot and my knowledge there goes as far as "It's some sort of retirement savings plan thingy, usually offered as a benefit." But if you get a job offering that, wouldn't it come with some sort of literature explaining it? And presumably if you've 'aced your exams' though are apparently still a doofus, you know how to read, right?

It bugs the hell out of me when people automatically assume that everyone in my generation/everyone in the college age bracket is a helpless idiot who needs hand-holding.

Various stupid things

1. One of the exercises in our French book was something like "Europeans often speak three or four languages. How many do you speak?" It gave me flashbacks to Brussels, a freakishly European city in which everyone speaks four or five languages no sweat. And that makes me feel like a Stupid American.
1a. Also, all conjugated French verbs sound the same and I miss Spanish.

2. Speaking of Stupid Americans, I think that 9/11 conspiracy theorists are some of the least intelligent in the broad classification of Stupid Americans. "OMG building 7 shouldn't have collapsed!!" "OMG the wings of the plane that hit the Pentagon broke apart but the landing gear didn't look CONSPIRACY!"

One: Getting pelted by fiery debris makes buildings collapse sometimes, dipwit. Two: The landing gear of a plane (which, you know, [i]supports the planes weight as it lands[/i]) is probably stronger than the wings, which just act as wings. Three: Okay, so if it was a government conspiracy, why are we still so sure that they didn't actually just send government heavies to hijack the planes? Why must it be missiles/planted bombs/lasers/Jews running the banks?

3. I understand Galileo so far which makes me feel not-stupid.

Brrrr.

It got down into the 40's last night I think. If not, it was very very close.

Aaah, mountain life. It's warm and sunny, and then the sun goes away and you wake up with your windows open, shivering.

Ahahahahahaha

Places you probably don't want to rob during their business hours, #372:

A karate school.

Heh.

*twitch*

Want to see how long ten minutes can feel like?

Just have your 3:00, last-thing-on-Friday, I'm-so-tired-right-now lab class go ten minutes past the end time.

Bonus points for having it as an annoyingly interesting discussion, causing your brain to twitch spasmodically between "Oh god SHUT UP" and "Oh, hey that's really quite clarifying."

Work until 7:30 tonight and then I can go and sleep for eighty bajillion hours.

A great loss

Madeleine L'Engle died yesterday.

I'm fairly certain that A Wrinkle in Time is one of the first chapter books I ever read. Regardless, I certainly have memories of reading it in parts out loud with my sister and mother. It's also one of the most frequently contested books in the English language.

She truly was a literary giant, and will be sorely missed.

Oh, come ON!

As far as I'm aware, none of the Democratic candidates for 08 truly get the health care thing. Granted, this is all my opinion, but here's what it comes down to:

Ensure that everyone in the country can get the care they need, without disastrous financial effects.

That's it. It's not complicated. Everyone should be able to go and get what medical treatment they need. Doing so should not bankrupt them. Necessary drugs should be affordable to everyone. Perhaps, as the NHS does, someone with demonstrated financial need should even receive discounted drugs. We should not force the caretakers of our older population to wade through seven thousand pages of Governmentese to get discounted blood pressure pills.

There's my dirty liberal manifesto about health care. Not terribly complicated, is it?

So, John Edwards, what the hell is this all about? You want to make doctors visits mandatory? You want to require everyone to have mental-health checks? Let's start with you, Mr. "Why would anyone want medical privacy" Edwards. Plus there's the issue of "Oh yes let's do bog down a doctor's time with someone who is entirely healthy." But I'm sure the pharmaceutical industry loves the idea - think about all the formerly healthy people who could be diagnosed with the disease of the week!

I'm 100% entirely in favor of universal health care. I think the state of health care in America is absolutely, horrifyingly shameful right now. But if you want to swing in the far opposite direction and require me to go to the doctor when I don't need to, you can take that idea, cram it into one of your bodily orifices, and then ask your doctor to remove it. Universal health care means providing the opportunity to get health care, not requiring you to get health care.

Phoenix's finest, now murdering more dogs!

I grant that I'm naturally inclined to view using police dogs as slightly inhumane to begin with. It's inhumane to the dogs to put them at that risk, and it's inhumane to whoever Officer Jackboots decides needs to be taken down. I'm not a huge fan, but I do admit that there are some legitimate uses (bomb detection, mostly, and rescue efforts).

And whenever a police dog dies, there's inevitably some human interest feature in the local paper about how Buddy or Dingo was such a great member of the police force, and the handler cries. There's a whole big PR show from the police department about how well-treated and loved these dogs are and such, right?

Right.

Because obviously you show your love and respect to a dedicated, well-trained animal by leaving it locked in a car for TWELVE HOURS in the Phoenix heat.

“I am certain Sgt. Lovejoy has suffered greatly from leaving his police dog in a sweltering car,” Sheriff Joe Arpaio said in a statement. “I do not relish the idea of compounding his sadness. However, Lovejoy must be treated like anyone else in similar circumstances.”

Oh, like hell the officer - who could have, you know, not locked his dog in a car - suffered. The dog suffered.

Who here is willing to bet that Officer Lovejoy will get, at absolute most, a mild scolding? Anyone else would be charged with a felony. If this guy doesn't at least get hit with every penalty in the code it's a serious injustice; I personally think he should lose his badge, permanently. ("Oh, you directly and intentionally caused a dog a slow, painful death? Sure, keep your gun and your de facto right to do whatever the hell you want in the name of 'public safety'!")

Bonus quote from the Animal Defense League of Arizona:

If an animal's life is in immediate danger, call 911*
If not a life-threatening emergency, click here for info on reporting cruelty and neglect.
*It may be necessary to remind the 911 representative that Arizona law mandates that police enforce the state's animal cruelty statutes.

*sigh*.

This post contains everything that is good in the world.

Neil Gaiman and pandas. *swoon*

Best without context, I think

And so it begins...

French should be pretty easy...provided that my tutor doesn't expect us to actually be able to speak it and have proper pronunciation. I'm predicting that five years of Spanish (not to mention 21 of English) are going to make it a bit tricky.