...really?

From today's police blotter in the local paper:

"Police arrested Mateo Trinidad-Rodriguez, age unavailable, 20A Sierra Place, on Wednesday and charged him with aggravated driving while intoxicated, reckless driving and leaving the scene of an accident. Trinidad-Rodriguez was involved in a rollover crash on Armenta Street. The arrest was his seventh on DWI charges." [emphasis added]

Really? And he wasn't charged with driving without a license, meaning that after six DWI charges, dude's still got a valid license? Because, um. Perhaps after - well, one, in my opinion, but certainly after, I don't know, three or four or five or six arrests for drunk driving, you should perhaps not be trusted to operate a motorized vehicle anymore?

The waves! They burn!

So there's a blurb about my adopted hometown on Consumerist. It links to this article in the Chicago Tribune. Short version: A guy here in Santa Fe is now suing his neighbor for using an iPhone. Really. He says he has "electromagnetic sensitivities"; he claims he bought the house thinking somehow it would be a refuge from...well, electromagnetic radiation. He's also been pissing all over Santa Fe's attempt to get some sort of municipal wi-fi going on.

So, the first thing: electromagnetic radiation includes things like, oh, visible light. And ultraviolet radiation, and infrared radiation, not to mention straight-up radio waves and such. So claiming you have "electromagnetic sensitivities" is completely meaningless. Everyone does - ever gotten sunburn? Congratulations, you have electromagnetic sensitivities! Have you heard of someone getting radiation poisoning? Electromagnetic sensitivities!

Two: If you're going to sue for someone aggravating a medical condition, it's courteous to produce some sort of evidence that said condition actually exists. That does not mean a note from your doctor who you apparently visited with your lawyer (as per a recent article in the Santa Fe Reporter). That means multiple, scientific, controlled, peer-reviewed studies. "My doctor said so" is not scientifically valid proof.

Three: He lists dimmer switches as something that his neighbor was using that bothered him, to which I say: what? Dimmer switches work by, in some way, altering the voltage a lightbulb gets. I know that given the already-flaky claims this is just quibbling, but even if I did believe that my cell phone or wireless router or laptop was somehow giving you muscle pain (which I don't), I'd be pretty skeptical if you claimed that a device which, at it's most basic level, shunts some of the electrical current through a resistor is giving you muscle pain. Really?

Four: Here is a map of where this house he bought is, on Barela Street in Santa Fe. As you can see, it's not exactly remote. Santa Fe one of those places where it's still pretty easy to find a place to live that's way the hell out in the boonies. The state of New Mexico has an average of 16 people per square mile - it's not particularly hard to find someplace in this state with a couple dozen miles between you and your neighbors. If someone using electronic devices can cause half a million dollars worth of damage (he's suing for roughly that), maybe instead of living in downtown Santa Fe, you'd prefer to live on the outskirts of Santa Fe, or even further away from the city out in the middle of nowhere, where the only electronic interference is your own.

Five: Santa Fe sometimes is a great town but my god do I hate that things like this happen here.

Dear Sky

Please rain. Even just a little bit. But please, please, please provide us with some manner of cloud cover and precipitation.

Attack dog

Today in the cafeteria I saw a Santa Fe police officer, with a police dog.

The dog was a Golden Retriever.

The Santa Fe Police Department has a Golden Retriever. If you were to ask me to pick one breed of full-size dog that is probably most useless in any conceivable police situation, it could well be a Golden.

And no, I have no idea why the cops were in the college cafeteria with their fierce attack Golden.

Lay off the grass!

Lately here in Santa Fe there's been this issue being argued relentlessly about concerning grass. Namely, the grass on the plaza, which apparently has been referred to as "historic" (okay...). The main issue is whether or not to allow vendor booths and picnic tables and such on it. Those in favor of say that that's what the grass in a public plaza is for. Those against, as far as I can tell, say it takes too much of a toll on the grass.

Now, here's my thing: we're in Santa Fe. That's high desert. You know what does not naturally grow in very dry climates at high altitudes? Did you guess grass? You're correct! Grass likes lots and lots of water. By definition the desert does not have lots and lots of water.

So here is my suggestion: don't just shut the hell up about it, but forget about having grass. It's stupidly expensive in every way to try to maintain grass here. It can be done, sure, but not terribly easily. That's part of living in the desert. You get 300 days of sun a year, you get beautiful sunsets, you get mountains, you get great hiking. On the other side of the coin are the potential opportunities to contract hantavirus or the plague, and the fact that grass really doesn't want to be here.

Seriously. Please stop whining about the grass dying. If you want to have green grass in a climate like this, it will inevitably be a look-but-don't-touch thing, because it wants to die to begin with.

Somehow, I have no problem understanding this, but people who have been here for far longer than I seem not to.

We're all nature's bitches...

I love it when the National Weather Service sums up New Mexico weather so nicely:

A LINE OF STRONG WINDS AND THUNDERSTORMS STRETCHING FROM MORIARTY NORTH TO SANTA FE... ESPANOLA... AND EMBUDO WILL MOVE NORTHEAST AT 20 MPH THROUGH 300 PM. EXPECT A SUDDEN WIND SHIFT TO THE WEST AT 30 TO 40 MPH WITH GUSTS UP TO 50 MPH. THUNDERSTORMS WILL CONTAIN RAIN... SNOW... SNOW PELLETS... AND SMALL HAIL. VISIBILITIES MAY BE REDUCED BELOW ONE HALF MILE AT TIMES IN PRECIPITATION AND BLOWING DUST. THIS AREA OF THUNDERSTORMS WILL MOVE EAST INTO THE SANGRE DE CRISTO MOUNTAINS AND PRODUCE VERY HEAVY SNOW WITH NEAR ZERO VISIBILITIES IN THE HIGHER TERRAIN.

Let me repeat that in case you missed it: wind gusts up to 50 mph and thunderstorms with rain, snow, snow pellets, hail, blowing dust, very heavy snow, near zero visibility. I've been glancing out my window for the past ten minutes (since the thunder and lightning started) trying to tell exactly which form of precipitation is predominant and I can't even guess.

There is no such thing as money.

Excerpt from a letter to the editor of the Santa Fe Reporter:

It all started several thousands of years ago with the “Goldsmiths” and “Money
Changers” It’s all a 1,000 percent FRAUD, deceit, mis-representation, scam,
sham, stealing, plunder and trickery, etc., i.e., modern and sophisticated
“Voluntary Slavery” on their “Prison Planet/Plantation” established and
maintained by the self-appointed “Masters of the Universe.” Simply ask any Bank
President point blank: Does your bank have and thus loan any (real) “MONEY”?

Okay. I'll get right on that, chief.

Ten (apparently fake) bucks says that this guy is a Paultard.

Franklin was on to something, for sure

Seriously, why would anyone even want a TV when they've got lightning storms to watch?

No torrential, raging downpour tonight as there was in parts of town yesterday.  By torrential, I mean apparently three inches of water in about an hour and a half.  I managed to miss it entirely, though I saw it from a distance while waiting for a bus, and then the bus carefully made it's way through far more water pooling on Cerrillos Rd than I think I've ever seen standing anywhere in Santa Fe.  The southern part of the city?  Not a drop fell.  

Have I ever mentioned how in love with mountain weather I am?

Tornado warning! Severe thunderstorm warning!

Gotta love Santa Fe weather, man.  Tornado warnings, severe storm warnings...and yet it's actually rather nice, if a bit breezy outside.  

Granted, the spotted tornado is not really anywhere near Santa Fe - the warning predicts it will be northwest of Ribera in about half an hour, which is still way the hell away from Santa Fe proper.  But still, it's exciting to click onto weather.com and have two different warnings screeching out of a bright-red banner at you.  

I'm not hoping for a tornado, but I am hoping for a good knock-you-off-your-feet, golfball-sized-hail, wrath-of-the-gods style thunderstorm tonight.  I've got nowhere to go and some munchies I picked up at the grocery store, and thunderstorms are nature's blockbuster hits.

Oh Santa Fe, where the winds come sweeping down the hills...

And by sweeping I mean, according to the National Weather Service, "southwest winds of 35 to 45 mph with gusts ranging between 50 and 60 mph."  

Woooooosh!

Dear skin:

Sitting outside for an hour between 9 and 10 AM is not sufficient exposure to the sun to get sunburnt.  Please do not do this again.

I know I say it often, but seriously:

PICK A DAMN SEASON AND STICK TO IT FOR AT LEAST TWELVE HOURS.

Today we've had everything from sunny and warm (mid-fifties) to snow blowing in your face at twenty miles an hour.

It can be spring. I would prefer it be spring. But if it's not going to be spring then it is not spring, and that means stop taunting us with those lovely moments.

PS: There's a Winter Weather Advisory for Santa Fe right now. It's April. Please stop snowing whenever I make up my mind to take my bike out for a nice spring ride.

I dreamt a dream...

Last night I had - for once - a nice, not-insanely-weird dream that I remembered. Well, it was a little weird, but not 'angry Plato turns into a snail' weird.

I was in London, and I was in a supermarket. I bought some of the few things I needed - bread, eggs, pasta - and walked home. Then I went back out, and sat in a little cafe or coffee shop along a busy road, and watched London go by.

Then my alarm clock went off and I got up and went to math class. It was cold and there was still snow on the ground.

Guess which I'd rather, reality or that dream? (Hint: I'm not a citizen of the place that feels like home.)

A list of things on my mind.

1. It's snowing in Santa Fe. As in, right now, snow is falling from the sky. That is so inappropriate.

2. We're reading more Kant for the next three seminars, and I think that my motivation is at an all-time low for seminar.

3. Seminar essays are due a week from next Monday. I'm going to write on Rousseau. My motivation is at a medium-high level, because it gives me something non-Kantian to cling to.

4. I've come to the realization that, while I have an idea of what I'd like to do with my life, I have exactly no idea how to get there. I've worked myself into a ridiculous hole of student debt for a useless degree, and now I need to figure out how to climb out.

4a. Do I regret going to St. John's? No, not really. I believe in education as an end in and of itself, not a means to an end. And I've enjoyed it, and I feel accomplished. Would it have been easier to go someplace else? Uh, yes. Would it have been worth it? I don't know.

4b. If I had to make the college decision over again, but knowing what I do now, would I have gone to St. John's? No. My first choice would've been to put more effort into it and go someplace in the UK. My second choice probably would have been the same, Earlham, where I could've, you know, majored in something.

5. I don't feel like going to work tonight. What I really want to do is curl up in a chair with a cup of hot chocolate and a good book that's not Kant or Flaubert, and just read the night away. Alas, reality has other plans.

Oh, my sinuses

It's allergy season in Santa Fe!

Last night I ended up trying to get some sleep sitting in my (big, comfy) chair, because lying down made it nearly impossible to breathe.

I hate spring.

Weather whine #8,234,869

Dear Santa Fe,

PICK A DAMN SEASON.  STICK TO THAT DECISION.

Today it was warm enough for me to comfortably walk into town.  By the time I headed back to campus, thick clouds had rolled in and the temperature had dropped a good ten, fifteen degrees.  As I headed off to work, an unpleasant wintry mix was beginning to fall.  "Blah," says I, "It's not cold enough for it to stick and now everything will be all wet."  

Three hours later I walk out of work and there's three damn inches of snow on the ground.  

Winter or spring.  Please stop this nonsense where it's both, several times a day.

Santa Fe Weather, ladies and gentlemen

Today: Currently 54, with a high of 64.  Sunny.  

Tomorrow: High of 44, winter storm watch in effect through Sunday night.  I'll be wearing jeans and a t-shirt today and might break out the down jacket tomorrow. 

Some damn fine detective work

Someone calls the police and says that they have found a skull. They think it may be real because it's a neighborhood with a lot of crime*.

The police come, rope the "crime scene" off, and...send a picture of the skull to some UNM anthropologists, presumably in Albuquerque. Note that there apparently is no one on the Santa Fe police who can differentiate between a real skull and a child-sized plastic toy.

Apparently, the ability to make a distinction is also a rare talent at UNM, where two people first confirmed it was real before realizing that, you know, it was fake, made of plastic, and anatomically incorrect.

This took 3 1/2 hours, during which I'm sure the Santa Fe police could have been out doing actual police work, such as enforcing traffic laws, arresting drunk drivers, and perhaps ensuring the safety of the local Dunkin Donuts. Instead our tax money paid for three hours of investigating a plastic decoration.

I want my money back.

*Not that while Santa Fe has some not-great areas, the crime rate is probably below average for a town this size. When half your population is old retired wannabe artists who do nothing but paint lousy nature scenes, you're pretty safe. There were an astounding 9 homicides in 2003, with a population of over 65,000.

Oh, Santa Fe

Apparently, there are to many old straight people in Santa Fe for the old gay people's liking.

My God this is a fantastic town.

To make an cheerfully apocalyptic sky:

Add equal parts thunderstorm and not-quite-sunset. The result will be a sky that really wants to be both day and night, rainbow and lightning.